09/12/31

It's come to that time of year again when people start posting new years events up on Face book and posting status updates about how they can't wait to go back home in December. "Watch out everybody here i come, the king of ...... is arriving" like everybody has been anticipating their arrival. With every theme you can think of from Pop Bottles to the white party, Play boy mansion to the million dollar party almost everybody is psyched for these events and they're the talk of the town from as early as October till the 31st of December. Poor University students take up extra jobs and those in the working class dig themselves into a little dark hole of debt in the name of being the King/Queen of the town . Those who hadn't gone anywhere plan the exquisite events and know all the new places that are 'happening' and everybody drives around aimlessly in their cars music playing at full blast and base pumping hard enough to make you think there was an earthquake.

I shouldn't sound bitter but appreciative of the fact that i am not part of this pointless exercise. The problem i have is not knowing what to do on this long awaited day that should be meaningful. i have two extremely different experiences to share.

Embarrassingly i have once or twice been a victim of this 12/31 pandemic i remember back in December 2007 i attempted several times to leave home and go to the happening city, or 'sin city 'as the youth of today would like to call it. My mum and i had agreed before hand that I'd spend Christmas with the family and New years with me friends .With my ticket already bought,on three consecutive mornings from the 28th to the 30th i took my bag out to the car for my mother to drive me to the airport. And on three consecutive mornings she told me i was crazy and that i needed to be prayed for. It didn't make sense to my parents that i should go all the way to another city to go to a party. They couldn't understand the importance of this day. Probably the only day i would get to dress up in evening wear and walk around feeling like a celebrity at the VMAs .

After my third attempt i called my friend and we decided the only way i would be able to come ,with only one day remaining til the grand finale was if we turned to God. So there on the phone we said a powerful 10 min prayer asking God to grant me the opportunity to attend this party. With faith we waited for the results.

Sadly and I'm ashamed to say that night our prayers were answered but in the form of a phone call telling my dad someone had passed away coincidentally in the same city the funeral was in. the 31st i spent my day at a funeral and in the rain and at night at some themed new years party with people putting on the cool act.

Everybody was looking too MTV to talk real talk so the night consisted of walking up and down and observing what who was wearing, how she was dancing, how she's put on so much weight , how he now has a baby now. 12mid night everybody shouted happy new years and that was the end of the night. The next day

Wow that was a great party

what happened

i don't remember i was too drunk

how much did you have to drink

i think two glasses of wine , 2 spins, two shots of tequila and double gin and juice

Did you see Jenny

Yep what was she wearing?

I don't know, but she just came back from England you know

did you see....

So 2008 i decided to do it differently. I wasn't just about to spend my night dancing around in an overcrowded smoke filled bar in Korea. After debating on it for 3months i decided to go to church for new years. If i have ever regretted going to church it was on that day. I first went for Indian with my brother then we headed off to church where we had a a few snacks and talked to some acquaintances. we then went in for a short mass. Here some people came up to testify about how they had in their past spent New years at parties a short sermon was given and at about 1/4 to twelve i began to get hyped up hoping we would start singing to the sound of guitars and the piano playing in the background. But to my surprise, the biggest surprise ever the pastor told us to pray for this then pray for that. At 5 to 12 i could have collapsed when he said we would now pray to our selves and SSSilently go into 2009!!!!!! Never in my life had i heard of silently going into the new year. I've spent new year in church before and we ululate and drums beat, people dance and sing and as soon as the clock strikes 12 you shout out Happy New Year. That's the way things are done, not silently!

So this year is another year.And again i find myself asking what the best way to spend 12/31 doing is. Why is the day so important and and if it is why should we celebrate the end of the year with such meaningless behaviour which only endangers us through car accidents or heart attacks during silent prayers. OK , i will admit it, i am a tinge bit jealous of those who will be home for new years. Not because of the dressing up, and aimlessly driving about while listening to the latest Jay Z album,but there are not too many countries left where you can go to a party empty handed and have free food and drinks. Some places in Spain have even banned happy hour and even then you'd be paying for one drink.

As the year draws to an end i wonder if my fate will be maybe looking out the window and watching people drunkenly falling off their bicycles, i don't know. What I'm sure of though is that i won't be at a themed party walking around and looking cool and and if i happen to be at Church i defiantly won't be saying a silent prayer. I can do that on any other day but at the end of 365 1/4 days ,celebrate all the good times and the difficult days I've seen , I'd like to be doing something unique.

In the begining there was a thought and the thought became the word

I spent an hour walking merrily around Uppsala this evening, not because i wanted to but because i got to church one hour early due to my failure to turn my watch back one hour.

While walking and playing Jay Sean on my ipod i thought to myself how free i was to be able to dance in the street and sing alone at 6.15 or rather 5.15. In South Africa as soon as the sun starts setting you start running. You attain the gift of moving your head round 360 degrees in search of any predators while your bag is clutched tightly beneath your arm. So this evening as i walked along the river dancing i felt what real freedom was and wanted to feel it in all aspects of my life. Freedom comes in various forms and i think freedom of expression tops them all. However we tend to limit ourselves before the world does and stop ourselves from doing what we want, from doing what makes us happy, from living because we fear what the world may think and conceive about us. I have a lot to say so i can't talk about one thing so i'll talk about everything, everything i am which is encapsulated in my being Black and in my being African. My thoughts, experiences and my journey in attempting to fulfil my life with a deeper and greater sense of negritude, with the values of Ubuntu.